Don't Leave Me
by Scarlet Redd
Summary: One-Shot. Set in CoLS. When Izzy asks Simon to spend the night with her, their feelings cannot be undercover anymore.


"Simon, I want you to." Isabelle said to Simon. Simon didn't want to hurt her. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop. Then his teeth were on her neck. Blood exploded into his mouth and he drank. He savored it, taking big gulps. He pulled himself away, more than satisfied. He was able to stop himself, and Isabelle was okay_._

Isabelle pulled Simon down and took his lips within her own. Her fingers dug in his hair, savoring his taste as much as she could.

Isabelle wanted Simon. She wanted him tonight, but she had the feeling he didn't. She decided to just keep kissing, and if he wanted to go further, she would allow him, but only if he wanted to.

She held on to him with both hands, one on his head, the other on his back, and then she wrapped her legs around him as well. She felt his lips tightening against hers, and she took that as a good sign. Simon then left her lips, but his lips never left her skin. She felt him kiss her neck, and she arched her back to bring herself closer to him. His name slipped her lips as a gentle whisper, and heard him moan. His embrace tightened against her. Another good sign.

Isabelle felt this was the night. She called his name again, this time with more urgency in her voice. She began to lift his shirt and tried to take it off him.

Simon pulled away from her neck, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry, Isabelle. I can't."

_He doesn't feel the same way about me,_ Izzy thought. _I figured._ "It's okay, Simon. We don't have to do anything." She exhaled in defeat. Isabelle reached for his head to pull him down on her chest and just lie there together, but he sprang free of her arms and out of bed. Within seconds he was by the window, ready to leave any second. She sat up. She didn't care if he didn't love her, or if he didn't want to be with her, but she couldn't bear being alone. She didn't want to face everything on her own; she needed someone to be with her. She needed someone strong to catch her as she fell into the deep precipice only she could see in front of her.

"Simon," she said, her voice breaking, "What—"

"I'm sorry, Isabelle, I can't. Please understand I can't go through with it." His voice was barely a whisper. She thought she was imagining things, but he sounded as though he was about to break.

"Simon, it's okay. We don't have to do anything, just please, don't go." The last words came out in a desperate whimper, as though she was scared. "Please," she begged. She heard the ruffle of fabric against fabric. He was coming back. He got in the bed next to her. "Thank you." She whispered. He kissed her forehead in response.

Isabel turned, having her back against him. She snuggled closely to him. She felt his arm come around her abdomen, holding her. She didn't want to do anything that he didn't want to do, but she wanted to be as near him as possible. She wanted to feel loved, even if it was all in her mind.

With her hand, she guided his hand up, pulling her tank top aside, and cupped her breast. Simon breathed in sharply, and tried to retract his hand, but Isabelle held it in place. "Just hold on." She whispered. "Please, just hold on." Simon sighed as though in defeat, and did as she asked. She felt him snuggled closer to her. She felt him bury his face behind her neck, and then felt his leg wrap around her legs.

She felt comforted and right there, next to Simon, with his hand on her bare breast, she fell asleep.

Simon couldn't sleep. Too many things were going on in his head. Clary off in God-knows-where with Jace and Sebastian, Rebecca constantly calling and texting him wanting to know what's going on, and wondering what he's going to do or say when Jocelyn finds out Clary's gone. Oh, and having his hand on Isabelle's breast.

He was trying to control himself with the fact that this was the first time he had touched a girl's breast. But he knew that if he acted on it, things would be weird with him and Isabelle. Well, probably not for her, since she's used t doing whatever she wants with guys and then blow them off.

He actually loved her, and wanted her to be his girlfriend, but he knew she would laugh at that idiotic idea. As if a girl like Isabelle would ever consider a guy like Simon to date. Life was just that nice.

He searched around the room for a clock. On the wall he found a hand clock, and with his vampire vision he had no problem telling time. It read three-twenty-two. They entered the room around midnight, spent kissing, and all that foreplay for about an hour, so she had been asleep for about two hours.

His mind was racing. He needed to think, to sort things out, and he couldn't do it here, in bed next to the girl of his dreams, with his hand on her breast. He needed to get out of there.

But he couldn't bring himself to pull away. As much as he knew all she wanted was a one night stand, a meaningless night and never think about him again, he couldn't bring himself to leave her.

_Damn it, Simon! Get over it!_ He reprimanded himself. He shook the thought away, and began to pull away.

He uncurled his leg from hers, and slowly and as gentle as he could, slid his hand away to not awaken her. As he did, he felt her aroused nipple tickle the palm of his hand, resulting in awakening sexual tensions within him, but he held himself back. He forced himself to stay calm, and just get out.

But then, he was trapped.

As soon as his hand left her breast, Isabelle began to wake up. She began to turn her head, her eyes still shut from tiredness, but her voiced called out for him. "Simon?" She said softly.

He immediately returned to her side, his hand on her bare breast once again. "I'm here." He whispered. "I'm right here."

She snuggled as closest as she could to him, putting her hand over the hand on her breast, in a way keeping him there.

"Don't leave me." She said in a sleepy voice, "Please, don't leave me."

Simon felt defeated. This girl, this woman, who had everything she could ever want, and wanted him for a single night of pure enjoyment, had him in the palm of her hand. And he knew it. She was his weakness.

He tightened his grip slightly on her breast, curled his leg around hers again, and said softly enough for her to hear. "I won't leave you, Baby. I won't ever leave you."

It could've been his imagination, but he thought he saw her smile and not a conceited smile either. It was more of a sweet, happy smile. And perhaps his hearing was playing games on him as well, but he could swear he heard her sigh as she said the word, "baby."

He lay there, next to her, protecting her from whatever was causing her pain and fear. He loved her, and even though he knew she would never return his feelings, he couldn't help himself. All he wanted to do, ever wanted to do, was protect her, be there for her, love her. The fearless whip-wielding shadowhunter next to him in bed begging him to never leave her turned out to be his kryptonite.

Simon knew he could never have a future with her. All he would ever have was heartbreak after heartbreak, and he wouldn't mind at all. And whenever she would have a heartbreak he would always be on her doorstep ready to mend her shattered heart.

And he was okay with that.

Sleep had to have taken over her by now again. And that fact gave him the confidence he needed to get it off his chest. Every so slightly he whispered in her hair, "I love you, Isabelle… so much."

Suddenly, he felt her shift in his arms. She was facing him, eyes wide open, and she whispered for him to hear, "I love you, too, Simon."

He pulled her in and covered her mouth with his own. That night he loved her until the moon began to hide behind the clouds to surrender the sky to the sun.


End file.
